The Giving Marriage

“Slow down, be present!” my wife would say in a loving, yet- “You are going to burn out and drive me crazy” tone, words she spoke to me. She was not wrong. I have always run at a fast pace, never slowing down to be present in the moments that, if missed, slip past us, never to be experienced again. The first step of your child. The constant asking to be pushed on the swing or to play with them- side note, one day, they won’t ask you anymore, so get up and push that swing! 

I needed to slow down, be present, and learn to live from a place of rest- not strive for it. I was about to enter into a season where I would be forced to rest and put into practice something that resonates deeply with the essence of my faith: gratitude. In the season of life, I had found myself, the pace at which I was running; I had forgotten that gratitude is the antidote to busyness. I needed to get back to having a heart of gratitude. Embracing gratitude and thankfulness not only puts the brakes on your out-of-control pace but is the vibrant thread that weaves through, enhancing the beauty of our relationships and marriage in ways we might not always realize. Gratitude was the traffic signal that slowed me down to enjoy the beauty of the season I was in and the journey I had been invited into. It has changed who I am and deepened my relationship with my wife; it can do the same for you. 

As we enter into early fall, there is the moment when we take a breath between the chaos of summer and the hecticness of the holidays- we breathe, pause, and give thanks, expressing our gratitude for where we have been, where we are, and what may lay ahead. Breathe.

I invite you to examine where you are and ask yourself, “Where am I not being present? Am I living with a grateful heart? Am I expressing thankfulness and gratitude, especially in my marriage?” As you walk into a season of thankfulness, remember:

Build a Foundation of Gratitude

Begin and end each day with gratitude. Be thankful in all circumstances, a principle that resonates profoundly in marriage. When we wake up every morning next to the person we love, gratitude should be the first emotion we embrace, not “Dear Lord, their breath!” In our lives and marriages, it’s not just about appreciating the grand gestures but also finding joy in the everyday moments. Shift from complaining about what may not be good or working to being grateful you get to be with the one you chose to spend your life with- regardless of what you are facing. 

Embrace a Grateful Perspective

Being thankful in marriage is not about ignoring the challenges but viewing them through a lens of gratitude. Every trial becomes an opportunity for growth, a chance to strengthen the bond that unites us. In the face of disagreements, we can be grateful for the opportunity to understand each other better learning the art of compromise and forgiveness. Being grateful will change how you communicate, pursue, and see your spouse.

Put Gratitude into Action

Expressing gratitude in our marriage isn’t just a passive act. It’s about the small, daily, intentional actions to express your thankfulness. Leave a note, send a sweet or sexy text, and tell them how you see and appreciate how they love you and your family.

Create a Gratitude Ripple

Being thankful in our lives and marriage doesn’t just impact me and my spouse. It creates a ripple effect, touching the lives of those around us. Our children, family, and friends witness the power of gratitude and learn from our example. Gratitude is contagious and spreads to all those we are connected to. 

My friends, I pray that as you pause for a moment this fall, look around you. You are blessed. Breathe. Have gratitude and express thankfulness. And I believe you will experience, as I have, a peace that passes all understanding and the beauty of being present in the moment and grateful for your spouse, children, family, and friends.

And when life gets busy and hard, say these words to bring you back to a place of gratitude- “Where am I? I’m right here. What time is it? Right now. What do I have? This moment.