What to do when betrayal happens.

Betrayal is the breaking of trust, confidence, connection, and it produces conflict. Yet betrayal in marriage does not happen overnight or in one solitary instance.  Betrayal has its roots in selfishness and its seeds are sown over a period of time when we decide not to fight for our marriage, each other and what God has called us to in marriage...holiness.  For those of you who have experienced betrayal, be it an affair, lying, pornography or addictions it's not easy, it's painful.  Yet, what would happen if we paused and begin to see what was underneath the betrayal?  Was there years of past hurts, unforgiveness and not communicating that led to disconnection?  All this leads to taking selfish acts because we are tired and FEEL we deserve something better.  So how do we handle betrayal in marriage?  We start by releasing your spouse from the verdict of guilt you have pronounced on them and choose to forgive regardless of the offense. Forgiveness does not condone the actions but opens the door to begin healing.  It says we are stronger than this, this will not end our story and legacy of marriage.  You cannot begin to find healing if you allow the hurt they inflicted to become your story.   Betrayal is not the end of your story but the beginning of a new chapter,  if you choose to start at forgiveness.  

-Javier Labrador