How to get your wife to submit.
How many of you after just seeing the title we’re all fired up? I’m sure you were asking yourself, is this woman crazy or what! Well, Yes I’m a little crazy with a huge helping of sarcasm.
Let’s talk about this infamous scripture we hear so much about.
Let me start here, Ephesians 5:21-25 was written to encourage unity in marriage. That being said Paul’s words to wives can’t be separated from his teaching to men on the same subject. It’s truly a call to be first submitted to Christ and mutually to each other.
The scripture states, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord.” The word submit has gotten a bad wrap. It's almost like a dirty word. But it simply means to yield to. Now men could camp right there and expect their wife to do just that, and to be honest, in 15 years of counseling and coaching, we have heard men say just that.
Is it biblical to submit, yield to, and honor our husbands? Yes! But let's make one thing clear, marriage is a partnership and no one is lording over me, suppressing me, or preventing me from having a voice. That's not a biblical marriage.
Why has it been easy for me to yield to my husband for the last 27 years? First, we both understand that we are mutually submitted to each other. Second, Javier leads me well as a leader, not a tyrant or my superior. Let me highlight what he calls a husband to do in a nutshell.
Lay down your LIFE for her
Your love for your wife is about giving not getting
Everything you do or say is designed to bring out the best in her
Love her like you love your own body
Love her as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Javier by no means is a perfect husband, yet he has strived to serve, love, and pursue me well. I know he would lay down his life in a heartbeat for me and his attitude and heart have been to honor God as a husband and leader of our home. So yes, it's easy for me to submit and serve my husband because he’s willing to do the SAME for me.
I have often heard Javier say this to men, “Be the kind of man your wife would WANT to follow.” If Javier wanted to join the circus (praying that's never the case), I would gladly and wholeheartedly follow him because I trust him. I know that he submits himself to God every day and there is nothing Javier expects from me, that he would not gladly do for me. Wives, we have our instructions from God and men, you are called to love and cherish your wife- to die for her if necessary. Lead with love, submit to one another, because you answer to God for the way you honor and treat your wife.
Shannan Labrador
