Are you an avoider?

"If I say something, they will be mad- shoot, I don't even know how to say it. I'll ignore it. I'm sure it will go away!" Does this conversation sound familiar? I know you've had this conversation in your head many times- I have. The weirdest thing happens- it doesn't go away. What happens to the issue or unaddressed behavior? It grows and begins to eat at my spouse and me. Avoidance is not a strategy- not if you desire a healthy marriage. You can undoubtedly try to kick the issue done the marriage road, and now it sits on the side like strewn trash on a highway. You may have moved on, but it's still there and has an impact. If you find yourself being an avoider, it's your fault! I know that's harsh, but you can't blame your spouse and how they respond or react, this one is on you, buddy.

Avoiding an issue or difficult conversation tells the other that they are not worth the effort of working this out. You grow resentful and bitter, and they may not even know why. When you avoid, you create a void in your marriage. When you move toward your spouse and address the issue with truth and love, you fill your marriage with understanding and grace. Regardless of how your spouse may respond, you are responsible for having the conversation and communicating how you feel. So the next time you find yourself wanting to walk around the problem and not go through it, stop and say, "If I don't say something, they may get upset. I may not know what to say, but I won't ignore it. It will go away if I talk it through with my spouse. Let's go!"